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I Didn't Exactly Get What I Hoped For

Updated: Mar 21, 2023

Dear Mama,

Today I hit a long-awaited personal goal. But the results aren't exactly what I had originally hoped for. This year, staying motivated and being intentional with my health - both physically and mentally - has been much more challenging, as I'm sure it has been for the majority of us. At the first of the year when everything began to shut down, I was looking for a way to keep active in a safe way (and in a convenient way since the kids were home 24/7), and a client introduced me to obe fitness. I signed up in February with a few goals in mind: to get in better shape, to try new exercises, and to be intentional about my "me time" as many days a week as possible. Did I mention my kids were home 24/7? Yeah. Mama needed those "me minutes" in a big way.

As a doula, I regularly find myself standing, squeezing, holding, thinking, encouraging, and pouring myself out in every way for hours on end. It is imperative for me to hold space for myself in order to maintain both physical and mental strength and stamina in order to serve these precious mamas. And since doula-ing didn't slow down this year, neither could I.

100 classes later, I unfortunately still don't fit into my old jeans and I have not gotten any better at selfies (the instructors encourage us to share our "sweaty selfies" and even interact with us live and on Instagram). But in reflection, I think over these last nine months I have gained something even better and more valuable than what I originally planned for. These are just a few things I have taken away from my time in class:

- If I want something different, I have to be willing to do something different.

- Most of my limitations are in my mind, not my body.

- What is in my mind manifests in my body; my body will go where my mind tells it to.

- Hard work is only as scary as I let it be.

- Honestly acknowledging my personal struggles is the first step in making a real change.

- Being positive in the midst of challenges is my choice.

- Good things come to those who are willing to grow.

- When things feel out of control, I can always control my response.

- Start anything with a deep breath, clear mind, and open heart.

- Just showing up matters.

- Community and accountability matters.

- Checking in with myself every day to explore my needs and wants is important. What I need matters.

- My self-worth is not defined by my feelings or my experiences.

- I'm not "just this way"; I can commit to making healthy changes - mentally, physically, and spiritually.

- I am worthy of both grace and love on good days and bad days.

- I am created on purpose, for a purpose. The world needs my unique contribution.

- I can help others and best fulfill my purpose when I take care of myself first. There's a reason that in the case of an emergency we are instructed to put our own oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs.

- Every day is a new opportunity to be intentional with our time and to start fresh.

Mostly I am thankful for the reminder that every facet of our lives is fluid. We are all on an ever-changing journey and we can embrace each new step in confidence as it comes or move forward dragging our feet. Either way, we get to choose how we'll take it on.

And as for those jeans? Well, to be quite honest, I prefer high-waisted leggings over pants any day, so I'll just be over here wearing them and living my best life. 👌 2 Corinthians 5:17

Jeremiah 29:11

Hit 100 Classes on #flexfriday. Still can't get my whole face and arm in the same photo. 🤷

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